Has Anybody Here Seen My Corpse?
This is the title of an old song by Electric Funstuff about Everquest. It also applies to Temple of Elemental Evil. I take a well-rounded party of five down to the first level of the first dungeon and we all die in the first encounter. 1000 zombies and a pair of green slimes for good measure.
The ranger left our party in pinch
The fight had looked like it would be a cinchBut the mage ran out of mana,the cleric said ma?ana,and I was dead before I'd moved an inch.That's like a word for word description for what happens. If you can find the song, it's hilarious and painfully reminiscent. And it was made right when Everquest came out. It was reminiscent before my trial month was up.
I finished Republic Commando, it was fantastic. Now I'm stuck in videogame limbo. A satisfying end to an excellent game without anything to follow it up with so I install and play everything else I've ever beaten for five minutes before promptly uninstalling it. I even get these sick urges to play some real-time strategy at this point. And we all know the only one I'm any good at is Total Annihilation. When's the next good PC game come out?
Electric Funstuff presents a story which is sad but true.
The ranger left our party in a pinch,
The fight had looked like it would be a cinch,
But the mage ran out of mana,
The cleric said ma?ana,
and I was dead before I'd moved an inch.See, I told ya it was a sad story.
Well can you spare some rations, cuz I sure need a drink,
I lost my stuff, I'm feeling, out of sorts,
Those trains just keep chasin,
No idea which way I'm facin',
Has anybody here seen my corpse?I'm fuming cuz my servers down again,
those women I've been chasing are all men,
"My name's Galadriel!"
I asked one to join my side,
she just laughed until she cried and said,
Get your skill at begging up to ten.Well can you spare some rations, cuz I sure need a drink,
I move so slow, I wish I had a horse,
It's night and I can't see,
danger in front of me,
Has anybody here seen my corpse?"Holy Cats, we're in the banjo spawning grounds!
"Ow!
Killed my pet!
You're the tank, you kill it!
Ow!
I'm almost dead,
this is it!
sproing
good thing that guard came by."Well everything cons red now, when I play,
what would I like my tombstone to say?
Thanks well it's been fun,
five more minutes then I'm done,
I've been sayin' that to myself since, yesterday."I'll be right there sugar just as soon as I kill this skeleton,
and this shadow wolf,
and this fire beetle."Well can you spare some rations, cuz I sure need a drink,
this game will be grounds for my divorce.
The lag times can be chokin',
the quests can all be broken,
but still I keep coming back, of course
And I will surely seek you,
Next time you're on EQ,
Cuz maybe oh just maybe,
maybe oh just maybe,
maybe you might have seen my corpse.Dang moss snake.
P.S. It really requires the mp3 so you can enjoy the sound effects that can't be spelled.
2Feb/05OffM-Day
Yes, tomorrow is the unofficial M-Day. Moving Day. The day when I pick up the UHaul, we load it with our crap, and then drive it down to Clarksville, to be put into storage until our name comes up on the housing list and then it's the Official M-Day.
But that's boring. I downloaded the Star Wars: Republic Commando demo and it's awesome. It's EASILY the best Star Wars product since Jedi Outcast (except maybe Knights of the Old Republic) and it's DEFINITELY the best thing to come out of the pre-Holy Trilogy era. You're part of a four man commando squad and the mission in the demo has you doing all kinds of cool stuff like the air assault insertion (where you rappel out of a helicopter into the dropzone, or in this case rappel out of a dropship), you can order your squadmates into firing positions, and if you die and your squadmates live, they can revive you and the mission just continues from there.
The demo's pretty short and the weapons lack punch but Unreal fixed that problem when it was first released and maybe Republic Commando will too. Oh and you can't not like a game where shanking a bad guy (using the well-placed melee attack button) with wrist-mounted retractable punching knife leaves green blood splatters on your helmet.
29Jan/05OffI’m being forced to update.
Really. I hate to bump that last entry because I love that picture but Katie said I have to update.
So where am I? Well, currently I'm in Springfield. But I'm not really here. I'm just here for a week to pack up my crap and haul it back to Ft. Campbell. Strictly business.
So REALLY where am I? Well nowhere. Nowhere I can easily be reached except by cellphone. See the waiting list for housing on-base is short (1 - 3 months) and Katie and I didn't feel like being tied to a six month lease and utilities and cable and internet and such so we're going to rent out a hotel room near base on a month-by-month basis while we wait for housing to become available. Most of our stuff will stay in storage and I doubt I'll have internet access there (though I will have my computer) so it'll be sparse updates from the education center for a while. I won't be settling into anyplace for a month or two. But rest assured that when our name reaches the top of that housing list, it's on.
Ft. Campbell rules. It's got all the commodities I require. The commissary is enormous and stocks pocky for $.69 a box. The PX carries a SELECTION of games because Ft. Campbell isn't an AIT installation and there's no phase four's there to snatch up all the good games. It has a mall nearby and tons of food places. So far everyone in my unit (or at least in my section, the communications shop) is real cool. I think the next 5+ years are going to be a cakewalk.
I'd like to bother everyone with "deep thoughts" but right now I'm not all here (I'm kind of tired and distracted) so I guess it can wait.
12Jan/05OffSomewhere in the heavens…
The Marathon Trilogy has been released for free.For those of us who've never owned a mac in our lives, this is probably our first chance to finally play one of Bungie's biggest games and what some consider to be the prequels to Halo.
Installation (for Marathon 1, as it's a little more involved than Marathon 2 or Marathon Infinity):
1. Download Aleph One Aleph-One-Windows-20040417.zip (1.21 MB)
2. Download M1A1 (the Aleph One conversion of Marathon 1) m1a1_sdl.zip (37.3 MB)
3. Extract AlephOne-Windows-20040417.zip to the hard drive of your choice.
4. Extract m1a1_sdl.zip to a temporary directory.
5. Open your temp directory, open the M1A1 SDL folder.
6. Move ALL the contents of M1A1 SDL to your AlephOne directory.
7. (optional but recommended) Rename AlephOne directory to Marathon1
8. Run AlephOne.exe and enjoy!
You'll want to goof around with the game's settings. I had to turn the brightness up to full because the game was WAY too dark on my monitor but it might just be me. To install Marathon 2: Durandal or Marathon Infinity, follow the instructions from trilogyrelease.bungie.org.
Edit: Added a little gamma to the image, it was kind of dark. Like Marathon!
8Jan/05OffWow
This has nothing to do with World of Warcraft. I've had my fill of MMORPGs.
No, I finally got to try out the Half-Life 2 demo. At full detail. Wow.
My local B. Dalton bookstore is going out of business and they had 50% off all books. I found a copy of World of Darkness and Vampire: The Requiem and picked them both up. I've never owned any Vampire books (or World of Darkness RPGs for that matter) but I've gotten plenty of exposure to it through playing the PC game Vampire: The Masquerade - Redemption and looking into the pen-and-paper system. They really gave Vampire the once-over with Requiem. They basically renamed-restructured everything that had to do with storylines and characters while maintaining the same game mechanics. It focuses more on character customization and less on vampire clan infighting. There is no Sabbat yet. There's hardly even a Camarilla. I guess this kind of change is to be expected when they integrated all their games into the generic World of Darkness system to allow for intergame mingling. Vampires, werewolves, and mages are all basically on the same system now.
Now I've got to decide on Half-Life 2 or Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines.
7Jan/05OffI want your skull
My computer is completed and it's so nice. And I love Misfits' "Skulls" so I'd like to share.
Misfits "Skulls"
The corpses all hang headless and limp
Bodies with no surprises
And the blood drains down like devil's rain
We'll bathe tonightI want your skulls
I need your skulls
I want your skulls
I need your skullsDemon I am and face I peel
To see your skin turned inside out, 'cause
Gotta have you on my wall
Gotta have you on my wall, 'causeI want your skulls
I need your skulls
I want your skulls
I need your skullsCollect the heads of little girls and
Put 'em on my wall
Hack the heads off little girls and
Put 'em on my wall5Jan/05OffI Am Always Watching You
Dear My Computer Parts,
Please get here sooner.
Love,
brianP.S. I beat Silent Hill 4. I got the worst ending possible but that's because I was rather... uninformed. Now don't get me wrong, Silent Hill 4 is a fantastic game. It also happens to be the most annoying of the four. I can spell it out without ruining anything by saying "unkillable enemies that follow you" and "a partner who also follows you through the second half of the game who's useless in combat and must be constantly babysat". Up until the second half of the game I was having a REAL GOOD TIME and then I've got this ball and chain attached to me and I'm retreading familiar areas. It does have some of the most disturbing images I've ever seen in a game in it (re: the "Holy Assumption") and from the start it reminds me of Silent Hill 2, which happens to be my favorite Silent Hill.
I've also started Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. Only a half hour in though. So far so good but everyone knows my history with JRPGs.
4Jan/05OffTHE PARTS
So my credit card finally made an appearance and with it came the power to finish my BRAND NEW COMPUTER!!! So here's a rundown:
Asus K8N-E Deluxe mobo
AMD Athlon 64 3000+, 512KB L2 Cache 64-bit Processor
Crucial 184 Pin 512MB DDR PC-3200 (x2)
Western Digital Raptor 36.7GB 10,000RPM SATA Hard Drive
Allied 400W Power Supply AL-A400ATX w/ Two Fans
Saitek PC Gamer's Keyboard
Logitech Laser Cordless Mouse (Blue/Black), Model "MX1000"
Microsoft Windows XP Professional With Service Pack 2And all of this will fit nicely inside Xerxes' old case. I didn't replace my DVD drive or CD burner because The DVD drive is new and there's no point in getting a new CD burner unless I'm going to get a DVD burner instead.
I'm painfully hooked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's all Katie's fault. But if I were to recommend it to anyone, I'd have to say buy the first AND second season before you pass judgement on it. The first season introduces the whole thing but it's also the weakest in terms of stories. Season 2 is much better. I'm on episode 11 (of 22) of season 3. I've watched 11 episodes in 2 days. Really, it's all Katie's fault!
I've also made some progress on Silent Hill 4 (not as much as I've wanted to but that's because the game has taken a VERY sad turn for the annoying) AND Knights of the Old Republic! Hey Chris, I made it off the first planet! I'm moving on up! P.S. The dark side RULES.
1Jan/05Off2005
So here's a crappy New Year's resolution: I'll be nicer to people and curse less. Much less.
If my video game plate hasn't been full enough before, it is now. I'm CURRENTLY playing Silent Hill 4 on PS2, Metroid Prime 2 on Gamecube, Knights of the Old Republic for Xbox, and Painkiller on this frankensteined computer. I'm still waiting for my credit card to show up so I can buy the rest of my parts for my new computer and this makes me sad. I want to play Doom 3 and Half-Life 2 badly. Oh and once I finish Silent Hill 4 I've got Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. I've heard nothing but good things about this one and any RPG that has you working for Lucifer and combining demons into bigger demons can't be that bad!
Two more weeks of leave left.
29Dec/04OffSleeping Alone
I'm home. In my parents' house. Katie's here. I'm sleeping alone.
I've gone down there four times now and she won't even talk to me.
